Cookies

So tonight I was thinking...

Fun/happiness are like cookies. If you want cookies, you can wait for them to come around and (except in college where you can get them in the dining hall every day) you probably won't get them that often, except at parties or when someone randomly offers you a cookie. But if you really want a cookie, you'll just make some yourself. Fun and happiness are the same way. If you just sit around waiting to have fun or be happy, it'll happen sometimes, but probably not that often. We have to make our own fun and happiness, and college is a great time to learn how to do that.

Reflections

So I just finished my last final. I feel really happy to be done with them, although finals week was actually pretty fun and relaxing. Mine were really spread out, so I had lots of time to watch movies, go to the mall, and just hang out with friends. Still, I'm happy to be going home for Christmas.

The other night Emily and Kelsey were talking about how they felt the semester had gone, and I guess this is the time when you think about that sort of thing. When they asked me how I felt my semester had gone, I said well, but really I was just thinking about grades. (Speaking of which, I'm having trouble getting used to the concept that an A is an A here and how high of an A it is doesn't matter.) I think this semester has actually been way too big and complicated to sum up in a single word like well. I've made some really awesome friends, although maybe not as many or in as cohesive a group as I'd hoped. I've learned a lot and taken interesting classes, even if they haven't been as hard as I expected. I've learned how to balance studying (which I definitely do a lot of) with making time for fun and how to live with another person (and thanks Emily for being an awesome roommate!). I'm still working on finding a balance between making new friends and staying close to my old ones and on finding a Christian group as awesome as Grace was.

College has definitely been different than I expected. It's not crazy exciting... in fact, it's a lot like high school, moved to a college campus. (To be fair, I have been told that that's because I'm not doing the right kinds of things... but I'm pretty sure I don't want to be doing the kinds of things that person was referring to.) It's not like TIP: there aren't a bunch of Harry Potter-obsessed people who are just like me waiting to be my friends, but in a way it's more real, more rewarding, because I'm making friends who each have something different that makes then awesome.

So, some goals for next semester:

1. Get more involved. I miss the crazy pile of clubs I did in high school. I want to start volunteering again, get involved in lit mag (though that will have to wait until next semester), maybe even be in a play.

2. Find a Christian group. I also really miss our awesome small group, and I really want to find a new one.

3. Meet guys. Okay, this one may sound kind of silly, but when I used to imagine college, there were definitely always guys involved. Plus, I miss having annoying guy friends. :P I've met some really amazing girls this semester, but I'm hoping to expand that next semester.

4. Meet more people in general. I've met cool people on my hall and in Emily's math class, but I'd like to meet some more.

5. Read more. Enough said.

6. Have more fun. I've enjoyed this semester, but it's been pretty low key: movie nights in our room, trips to Walmart/Target, going to Chick Fil A... I think that even if college isn't as exciting as I expected, it still has more potential than I've seen so far, and I want to get the most out of my college experience.

I wanted to have 7 things in that list, but I can't think of another one. So anyway, I hope everyone had a great first semester and has a very Merry Christmas!

Self-Control

So this month I've been doing No-Dessert December (at least until winter break). I thought it would be really hard (I have an obsession with the fudge brownie cookies in the dining hall, and Christmas=lots of desserts), but it's actually been a lot easier than I thought. Today I made tons of cookies and didn't eat any... not even the dough. And it feels good. People always talk about the importance of self control (esp. at college), but self-control isn't just about resisting bad things. It's about power. Having power over yourself and your actions; knowing that you are strong enough to resist. And even if it is just desserts, in a weird way, it's a big deal. And even though I'm going to start eating desserts again after this is over, I'm going to eat them when I actually want to, and not just because they look/smell good. And it applies to more than that... studying too: the power to not procrastinate. And other stuff that I haven't thought of yet (I guess since it's finals week, eating and studying (and sleeping) are about the only things I'm doing).

In other news, Emily and I have definitely gotten into the Christmas spirit. I never liked decorating that much at home, but here, it's so fun. Maybe it's because we have such a small space and just want to make it awesome, maybe because it's really ours and if we don't decorate it, no one will, but I really loved decorating with Emily. I can't wait for Christmas break and seeing everyone!

Merry Christmas!